Bev Psalm 37: N

 Nancy Drew I’m not, but magnifying glass

   in hand, I’ve discovered that during many

   hours of scripture study, I find patterns.

Now, as I seek, ask and knock, a most

   remarkable thing occurs and I recognize

   the Holy Ghost has unquestionably helped

   me discern connections, previously not seen.

Numbers have recently popped into my

   peripheral view. Not clearly in focus yet, but

   immerging. Are they signs God is pleased

   that I’ve noticed?

New information of a death today. He was age

   60 and died 06 06 2026. Seems an unlikely

   age and date, yet it draws my attention.

Neighbors saw him slumped in a chair on the

   back patio. No family or friends found; he’ll

   be buried as indigent in an unmarked grave.

No name, needs unmet, neglected and yet he

   is known! By whom you ask? He is a child of

   God; his Father in Heaven, father of his spirit,

   knows him well; watched over him for years.

Noticing this death, my heart is overcome with

   grief. Such a tragedy that narrowed down

   nature to this final farewell. I pray for him,

   mourn for him and write this psalm for him.

Nurtured by the numbers that led to my noticing,

   I’ve received the Comforter as promised to me

   at baptism and confirmation. Peace nourishes:

   A peace that surpasses all understanding,

   not as the world gives, but as Christ gives.

First Anniversary of My Husband's Death

Anniversaries of memorable and life changing events 

are celebrated in many ways. 

     You don't think of the death of a loved on as a day to celebrate an anniversary, but it is! Whether you want to or not, the date brings back vivid memories. As the date approaches there are intense emotions and changes in the physical, intellectual and spiritual dimensions of your life. 

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places"

--Ernest Hemingway

Healing Comes When We Honor Our Loved One 

By Sharing and Symbolic Activities

Robert Eugene Field

30 Sept 1930 - 9 May 2012

     As the anniversary of my husband's death approached, I decided to be gentle with myself and include my daughter in some sort of special remembrance of his life and our lives together. 
     Bob loved cooking and food in general. He won my heart by cooking amazing dinners for me when I first visited him in Nashville, TN. I have a video of him making his famous meatballs! But first and foremost he loved Indian food. He often told people that when he lived in England, working for Proctor and Gamble, he would occasionally have to commute to London and catch the late train home to Newcastle located further north. So he'd go to Soho and eat dinner, trying a new restaurant each time. He was walking down the street and this wonderful smell of exotic spices wafted out to meet him as he walked down the street. He followed his nose and found an Indian Restaurant. He said from that day on he always came back to that Indian Restaurant because he was hooked. 
     Whenever we traveled... anywhere in the world from Atlanta, GA to Bangkok, Thailand we found the local Indian Restaurant to try out. My mother, knowing how much he loved Indian food, bought him a wonderful cookbook and from that day on, Chicken Curry became one of our family's  "special" dinner treats. Although he followed the recipe book, Bob would tweek it so that every time it was just a little different. Brianna and I laugh at the memory of that page in his cookbook. It is so covered with yellow and brown spots, greasy prints and stains that it "could almost stand on its own!"
     The restaurant we found here in Tucson is called Saffron: Indian Bistro located on North Oracle. Bob and I went there several times. It was a bit pricey for our budget, but the lunch buffet was within our budget at $8.95. 

Saffron Indian Bistro, North Oracle Blvd., Tucson, AZ

     Brianna and Bob had their last Daddy-Daughter date at this wonderful restaurant about a month before he died. In fact, he never left the house again after this date. I asked if she would like to go there this year to remember him. Yes!
     It was truly a wonderful day!! Could've been sad, but wasn't... Having Bri there was just the sweetest thing, and we did do lots of remembering... like the great waitress at Saffron who had asked Bob, "Is there anything more I can get you?" and Bob answering, "Yes, another little bowl of Khir (tasty rice desert)" and she brought maybe as many as four more little bowls to him!!! 

Visiting Bob's Grave Site Seemed An Appropriate 

Symbolic Activity To Share With Brianna

     Not knowing how long this would take, Bri got a baby sitter and we went to the LDS Binghampton Cemetery, located on North Alvernon Way in Tucson, AZ,  first thing this morning. Yesterday, I'd gone to Michael's to find some type of container and white flowers (preferably Bob's favorite...roses) to place by his grave. Something tasteful, that he would like. I found no roses but did discover white geraniums that said they were water resistant. The only container I could find in metal was a tall vase like shape in a bronze color. I went to Ace Hardware and bought Quik-Crete. Last night I poured this mortar into the vase and set the flowers into it along with a couple tubes that I could insert flags into if I wanted on some later date. This made it full to the edge of the vase so that during the rainy season, water would not sit in it to create a place for mosquitoes to breed.  It also made it heavy enough so that wind wouldn't blow it over. It set up hard as rock overnight.
Just to be certain it wouldn't blow over or be removed, however, we dug a shallow ditch, mixed up more Crete and poured it into the hole, then set the vase into it.

Notice the howling coyote?  Dale Leeson, a very talented metal artist, created the howling coyote that I'd placed there when Taylor Lancaster and I visited his grave last fall.

     Then we noticed that there was a gallon water jug behind his headstone and that someone had planted a barrel cactus just behind his grave to the right. What a cute little surprise. Someone, and I think it was Bob's son, Rob, planted this little barrel cactus. They left a gallon of water there so whoever came to visit could give it a little drink. And we did! 

A Small Barrel Cactus Symbolic of Surviving in a Hostile Land

 What a delightful day of Remembering and Healing!

The Transition from Life - Who We Really Are

I have not written here for several weeks. My beloved eternal companion, Bob Field, passed away in the early morning hours of Wednesday, May 9th.

Bob Field 1930 - 2012

           I have kept a journal of all the sacred moments we shared; I also made long lists of all the people in my ward who have comforted me, given service to both Bob and me. They are shining examples of followers of Christ.  In the Book of Mormon, Alma explains to those who desire to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ, what is required of them.
SCRIPTURE: "... and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;
          "Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life-"
          "Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?"

 -- Mosiah 18: 8-10

The people there clapped their hands for joy and exclaimed "This is the desire of our hearts." The members of my ward family found joy in serving Bob and me during his last weeks on earth. 

PONDERING THE ETERNITIES

          It is during these very poignant times that one ponders Who We Really Are. As I told you on my post of April 28th, I found out who Bob really was during an epiphany experience that I had before we were married in the summer of 1978.

THE EPIPHANY         

          While talking with Bob, whom I’d never met, on our second phone call, the Holy Ghost descended upon me, enabling me to see or know Bob as God knows him. I beheld his eternal nature. I was humbled that this great soul would select me to be his eternal companion…and yes, at that moment I knew that he would indeed ask me to marry him, and we would be sealed together in the temple for time and all eternity. 

            Needless to say, I didn’t apply this vision to myself. I just knew how great Bob was. I’d seen him in the pre-existence, saw how he agreed to the circumstances of this life he was to live here on earth, and then I was privileged to see him in the eternities as God saw him. 

            While our family was living on the island of Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands (1990-1994)

An LDS friend shared with me that she was of the literal seed or descent from Jesus Christ. Whether this was real revelatory knowledge or was stated in her patriarchal blessing, I cannot remember. But it gave her strength to carry on during times of trials and hardships as well as during physical distress or illness. It matters not whether she is indeed literally his heir, because it stands as a symbol of her divine nature and how Christ helps her during trails while here in mortality. The reality is that Christ’s sacrifice helps bring her into at-one-ment with God, both now and after death. Doesn’t this reality apply to all of us?  

HOW THIS RELATES TO ME

           This shared view of her reality suddenly brought into focus what I’d learned about Bob’s eternal nature as it related to me.  I, too, must be endowed with this same nature. Because I had “seen” Bob’s past, present and future knowing that he had selected and agreed with the family and circumstances he was born into because it was for his own good or growth, I then must assume that I also had agreed in the pre-existence to my own life. Since God loved Bob (and I had felt His great love that he had for this son) perfectly and could see everything about him from the beginning to the end, I had to draw the logical conclusion that not only was Bob great, but so was I. Now that thought was a little tougher to swallow.  I couldn’t quite bring myself to accept this totally. In 1999 while living in Guadalajara, Mexico, I came across a perfect description of just exactly what I had experienced in my epiphany in a book called “Spiritual Progression in the Last Days” By Blaine M. Yorgason.[1]

            This is the exact moment in my life that I gained an understanding of my eternal nature and true identity. I want to share these passages from his book with the hope that it will awake in others the knowledge of who they truly are. It is what I was searching for all of my life. This is the knowledge that banishes all fear. Now I quote Yorgason:

            “Unfortunately, based on my own limited experience in discussing the issue of spiritual progression with others, I am forced to conclude that not many will press forward—not because we can’t, mind you, but solely because we won’t. Why? Primarily, I believe, because we fear.

            “We know something of our own carnal natures – the natural man we all inherited at birth – and we fear that we can not put it behind us. And even when we actually overcome the natural man by being born again, we continue to fear like Laman and Lemuel, that the Lord will make no such glorious things known to us as He has promised .”[2]

            “I have pondered long on this, and I believe that such paralyzing fear, while satanically inspired, stems almost wholly from not understanding our eternal natures and identities. I also believe that many of the difficulties we experience in mortality could be avoided or at least made lighter if we could only come to such an eternal understanding more quickly.”

            “As President John Taylor taught: This is the reason why we are here, and kicked and cuffed around, and hated and despised by the world. The reason why we do not live in peace is because we are not prepared for it. We are tempted and tried, driven, mobbed, and robbed; apostates are in our midst, which cause trouble and vexation of spirit, and it is all to keep down our pride and teach us to honor the God of Jacob in all things and to make us appear who we really are.” [3]

            “Even when we hear of those who will inherit the celestial kingdom, we desire to be one of them and have met the requirements to be such, yet many of us continue to say, ‘But that isn’t me God is talking about. It can’t be! I know myself too well, and I’ll never make it that far – at least not in this life.”

IS THIS YOUR THOUGHT? IT WAS MINE          

         Yorgason continues, “If you find yourself entertaining such thoughts, which are more typical than you might imagine, then please consider the following which I have found helpful. On Christmas day in 1844, W.W. Phelps wrote a letter that was published in the Times and Seasons 5:758, wherein he spoke of the meaning of eternity.”

            “Brother Phelps wrote: That eternity (the one during which Christ’s doings have been known), agreeable to the records found in the catacombs of Egypt, has been going on in this system … almost two thousand five hundred and fifty-five million of years.”

            “Elder Bruce R. McConkie, who quotes a small portion of this letter, adds: That is to say, the papyrus from which the Prophet Joseph translated the Book of Abraham, to whom the Lord gave a knowledge of his infinite creations, also contained this expression relative to what apparently is the universe in which we live, which universe has been created by the Father through the instrumentality of the Son.”[4]

            “Thus, Jehovah began His eternal reign some two thousand five hundred fifty-five million years ago, or, said another way, two and a half billion years. That was when. But how, where, and why did Christ’s eternal reign begin?”

            “In answer, Joseph Smith spoke of  ‘the head of the Gods’ calling a ‘council of the Gods’ to arrange for the creation and peopling of the earth[5] as well as of ‘the grand council of heaven’ in which those destined ‘to minister to the inhabitants of the world’ were ‘ordained’ to their respective callings.[6] It was one of these councils, held only a little less than 2,555,000,000 years ago, that Jehovah offered himself as the one to go down to earth and bring to pass the Father’s plan of salvation through His own life and death and resurrection.”[7]

WE WERE IN ATTENDANCE AT ONE OF THE COUNCILS IN HEAVEN            
          As Yorgason continues, “What astounds me, is that each of us was also in attendance  at least one of those councils on that long ago date, offering a sustaining vote in our Savior’s behalf, rejecting Lucifer’s counterfeit plan, and being absolutely certain of our own identities as we did so. And once Jehovah had been sustained as God and Christ, we who had thus kept our first estates were foreordained to our own future mortal assignments, and set about learning how to accomplish them. Elder McConkie writes[8] that:  Since men are foreordained to gain exaltation, and since no man can be exalted without the priesthood, it is almost self-evident that worthy brethren were foreordained to receive the priesthood. And so we find Alma teaching that those who held the Melchizedek Priesthood in this

life were ‘called and prepared from the foundation of the world according to the foreknowledge of God.’[9]

            “Remember – the foundation of the world was 2.5 billion years ago. And Joseph Smith said, ‘Every man who has a calling to minister to the inhabitants of the world, and this includes all who held the Melchizedek Priesthood, were ordained to that very purpose in the Grand Council of heaven before this world was. I suppose that I was ordained to this very office in that Grand council.’[10]

YORGASON'S CONCLUSIONS CHANGE HOW I VIEW MY FELLOW MAN            

          “Therefore, I conclude that despite the fairly negative pictures most of us have of ourselves as struggling and usually failing weak mortals (which picture is based on satanically inspired doubts as well as an incredibly brief span of time here on earth that we are allowed to remember), we are all, in reality, ancient beings filled with glory, light and knowledge. And we acquired those godly traits by exercising ‘exceeding faith and good works’[11]over at least two and a half billion years of time.”

            “With that mind-boggling fact before us, consider these questions:

1)                  Since I know that I had an eternal pre-mortal identity separate from what I am today, what do I suppose my name was during that lengthy life we call our first estate?

2)                  Is not that glorious and ancient identity more properly the “true” me than the one I know now, which is at best no more than a few decades old?

3)                  Is two and a half billion years sufficient time for me to have become acquainted not only with Christ and our Father, but also with all the holy angels such as Gabriel, Raphael, and Michael?

4)                  Is it not possible that I not only knew such great beings but also mingled among them as an eternal equal, even with similar assignments? And …

5)                  Since I successfully kept my first estate for at least two and a half billion years, isn’t it foolish and shortsighted for me to doubt my ability to keep my second estate for a mere seventy or eighty years?

            “It is no wonder that the devil, who has an intimate knowledge of our true identities, tries so hard to convince us that we are without spiritual merit. If he can’t, then he knows he has lost, and we will never be miserable like him.”

            “Jesus Christ lives and stands waiting with outstretched arms to ‘take up his abode with us,’ and He will do so as quickly as we are willing to put aside the world and give our hearts and lives wholly to Him.’

NOW IT IS MY TURN TO SEE IF I CAN DO THIS ALONE

          Is the "true" me willing to keep my second estate until the end as did my eternal companion? Yes. I am not really alone. Heavenly Father is intimately aware of me and my needs both large and small. Often he meets these needs through the tender mercies of the members of my ward family. He allows me the comfort in knowing that Bob is serving on the other side of the veil, through impressions that I have have received. And he has given me a daughter, Brianna, who loves me and spends time with me. Her husband Ricky promised Bob that he would look out for his "girls" for him; and he has been doing just that. I feel loved, not lonely.

---

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[1] “SpiritualProgression in the Last Days” by Blaine M. Yorgason, 1994, Deseret Book, epilogue.

[2] 1 Nephi 15:8-10

[3] John Taylor, Times and Seasons, 6:1, 100-101.

[4] Bruce R. McConkie, The Mortal Messiah, Book 1, 1979, Deseret Book, p. 32-33, footnotes.

[5] See D&C 121:30-32; Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith,  pp 348-349.

[6] Teachings p 365

[7] See Abraham 3:27; Moses 4:1-2; Isaiah 14:13-14; see also The Promised Messiah,  p 48.

[8] Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 3:328.

---

[9] Alma 13:1-12.

[10] Teachings, p 365.

[11] Alma 13:3

Death, Dying and Day of the Dead

SCRIPTURE:

“O how great the goodness of our God, who prepareth a way for our escape from the grasp of this awful monster; yea, that monster, death and hell, which I call the death of the body, and also the death of the spirit.

“And because of the way of deliverance of our God, the Holy One of Israel, this death, of which I have spoken, which is the temporal, shall deliver up its dead; which death is the grave.

“And this death of which I have spoken, which is the spiritual death, shall deliver up its dead; which spiritual death is hell; wherefore, death and hell must deliver up their dead, and hell must deliver up its captive spirits, and the grave must deliver up its captive bodies, and the bodies and the spirits of men will be restored one to the other; and it is by the power of the resurrection of the Holy One of Israel.”

–2 Nephi 9:10 - 12

Death and Dying are Central Themes

for Remembering our Dead in Holiday Celebrations

            Usually when Halloween approaches we find ourselves deciding upon costumes for ourselves and our children, buying candy to give out as treats, decorating our homes, carving pumpkins or jack-o’-lanterns, visiting haunted attractions, bobbing for apples, telling scary stories and watching a lot of horror movies. My mom used to dress up to greet the kids at the door (often scaring them a bit) and then after we were all tucked in for the night would go to visit and party with neighborhood friends. She always decorated the front door and porch area. This was at a time in the 1950’s when not many were doing this, so our house became a sure stop for trick-or-treaters.

            The word Halloween comes from All-Hallows-Even (evening) or the night before all Hallow’s Day or All Saints Day. Trick or treating –resembles a late medieval practice of “souling” when the poor would go door to door on Hallowmas (Nov.1) receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day (Nov. 2). This tradition of trick-or-treating was called “Guising” in Scotland and Ireland –children disguised in costume would go door to door for cakes, fruit or money, often carrying a lantern carved from a turnip to light the way (1895). Today’s U. S. tradition began about 1930 although mention of parts come as early as 1911. 

The Grim Reaper by autistic boy in Tucson

            When I lived in Guadalajara, Mexico in the late 1990’s, I was surprised to find children celebrating a typical U.S. style Halloween with costumes, trick or treating , and gathering great bags of candy. I was surprised because the most popular and traditional celebration in Mexico is called the Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos). This is where family and friends gather on the Catholic holidays of All Saints Day (Nov. 1) and All Souls Day (Nov.2) to pray for family members who have died. In remembrance of a specific deceased person, they will build private altars using marigold flowers, photos, memorabilia and sugar skulls then prepare the deceased person’s favorite foods and beverages. They take these gifts to the grave site of their ancestor. This three day event finds families cleaning the graves and cemeteries before they decorate. Then the celebrations take over. Some have picnics or even spend the night beside the graves of their ancestors telling humorous events and stories about the departed.

Day of the Dead Offerings in Mexico

Decorating Ancestors Graves in Mexico

Similarly themed traditions and holidays appear all over the world. Some of these include Bon Festival in Japan; Chuseok or Hangawi in Korea; Ching Ming and pin yin in China; Gai Jatra in Nepal. Brazil and Spain also celebrate similar to Mexico. African cultures have bits and parts of this celebration or remembering of the dead in ceremonies spread throughout the year.

The anniversary of this little boy's birth is remembered

This is the memorial of Cooper Hamblin Koffer - What Fun!

Located in East Lawn Cemetery, Provo, UT

           

MY QUESTION FOR YOU: Will you remember a deceased person this week? You might take a moment to think of your ancestors or those who have recently died in your circle of family and friends. Will you write a humorous memory about them or a story that will entertain their descendants for years to come? Or perhaps you will find someone on this date was born, died or was married in your genealogies.

MY SUGGESTION: Read the Bible Dictionary description of Death and ponder the two deaths described. Death and dying are part of the Plan of Salvation. Physical dying must come to us all. I call this an ordinance date for it is one of three dates that we record for identifying a specific person in our family history research to prepare them for submission for temple ordinances. We can not provide this work for a deceased person before they have been dead for exactly one year. Our responsibilities also are for our own direct ancestors first; these usually take us back about 100 years. 

As we ponder our own mortality we, as Latter-day Saints, must surely think about the consequence of our own sins for we do indeed make our own spiritual death by our works, our thoughts and our actions. It is this spiritual death that the world worries so much about. Granted, we sorrow and mourn for our dead. We miss them and think about them. What a glorious and joyful light has broken upon the world with the restoration of the gospel and the saving ordinances performed for our dead. The rest of the world is focused on the grave. We are focused on the Resurrection and the promise and hope of eternal life.

           

QUOTE:  “Ode: Intimations of Immortality” –by William Wordsworth

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:

The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home:

Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

Shades of the prison-house begin to close

Upon the growing Boy,

But He beholds the light, and whence it flows,

He sees it in his joy;

The Youth, who daily farther from the east

Must travel, still is Nature's Priest,

And by the vision splendid

Is on his way attended;

At length the Man perceives it die away,

And fade into the light of common day.

THOUGHT:  Our birth is indeed a sleep and a forgetting; and we do enter this earthly body trailing clouds of glory, just ask any parent who has looked upon a newborn baby. Our Father in Heaven must say good bye to us for a small season when we come down to live upon the earth. He watches over us, rejoices in our repentance, baptism and our obedience to his commandments. He delights in our diligent prayers and scripture study. He wants us to succeed so that when we die, we return to Him having lived a righteous life from youth to the end. Our death to Him is a joyful reunion, for we are his heirs and he will give us the greatest of all treats when we knock upon His door, that of eternal life and the promise of “all that he has.”

In your patriarchal blessing do you  find such phrases as “rightful inheritance in the promised land”, “binding  for time and all eternity”, “a kingdom that shall never fail”, “a place in the celestial kingdom” or “come forth in the morning of the first resurrection to receive an inheritance”?  These phrases will be a comfort to you and a reminder to reverence the Lord, and provide for your ancestors the opportunities and blessings they did not have when they lived here upon the earth.  

Death or dying is the gateway to these wonderful promises