THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, HE COMFORTS ME

On Grieving

     Recently, the teacher in Relief Society handed me a slip of paper to either share my thoughts and experiences relating to the topic or invite others to share experiences and lead a discussion. My question was “How has the Holy Ghost helped you in the midst of difficult times or when faced with opposition?”  The young widowed mother of three sitting next to me got a question about how the Holy Ghost helped her in her home. She said that she didn’t think it applied to her and didn’t know how to answer it. I told her that just from what I knew about her recent decisions to extend a class at the University for her autistic 13 year old son, that she made a prayerful decision to go ahead with it even though logically, it was going to be quite time consuming. She said, “Oh, well I guess I do rely on the Holy Ghost, don’t I ?” Another woman shared that she kind of felt that we were like swimmers immersed in water. When we came upon something in the water, we’d just swim around it. As Latter-day Saint women, we are immersed in the Holy Ghost if we are living lives worthy of it.

THE HOLY GHOST AND PERSONAL REVELATION

     Then it was my turn to share and I said, I’ve always lived making decisions prayerfully for both the large and small details of my life, so the swimming analogy really made sense to me. I told the women that I really didn’t have many difficulties in my life, but tried to live every day and every hour praying for guidance and wishing to do the Lord’s will; and I invited others to share experiences. One lady shared how when she was first married to a naval man she had a new “friend” come visit saying that she’d been told her that her husband was a Mormon, was she also a Mormon? When she answered yes, the woman began to rail against her and brought up every anti-Mormon  topic she’d ever heard. This young married woman, who also happens to be wheel chair confined, kept thinking and praying silently, ”What do I do?” and kept smiling calmly, not saying a thing. When the women finally ran down and quit talking, my friend simply bore her testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, and what she believed. The other woman quietly left the house not saying another word.

     Our Relief Society President then commented about me, saying that she felt that taking care of a sick husband and then his dying, was for most people a “difficult time,” but the way I lived my life in proximity to the Lord, the Holy Ghost comforted me and helped me through it so that it didn’t seem so difficult. As I reflect back, there were many promptings that helped me during those last months of Bob’s life. For instance the thought came into my mind that moving a comfortable chair from the living room to replace one  in his bedroom, (one that if I sat in it more than ten minutes, my back would start to hurt) This occurred during what was to be the last ten days of his life. This act allowed me to spend much more time with him. You see at this point, I was using a walker to get around and so was either in a chair or my bed when I wasn’t cooking, cleaning, etc. I really had only enough energy to barely keep up simple daily tasks around the home, monitor Bob’s drugs and pain medicine, and personal hygiene tasks.

I SAW THE HOLY GHOST PROMPT OTHERS TO HELP US 

     Kind friends came over and helped with vacuuming the house and my daughter helped with dishes and mopping floors once a week. I saw the Holy Ghost working in other’s lives as they were prompted to come to visit and help us during the last months of his life. Bob didn’t think he was dying, and I certainly didn’t know when he might die, so we basically lived every day, one day at a time.

     I turned to my friend sitting next to me and said, “I guess my advice to you relates to my own situation, doesn’t it?”

ALL THINGS TESTIFY OF GOD

Leaving Church that Sunday to go home, I was driving through farmland and the truth's that I'd learned about grieving were visually pointed out to me. God was telling me that He is my Shepherd and he will comfort me and lead me.

I called out the window of my car, and this sheep heard my voice and looked up

     On the way home, I saw a flock of sheep grazing on what used to be a rice field or pasture where I’d never seen anything but crops. I love sheep. But I’d never seen any at all around here, much less this close to a road. 

There were sheep of all ages from baby lambs to large wooley sheep.

     

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

     

     All the baby lambs were with their mothers and I thought to myself… the Lord really is “my shepherd” and He does “maketh me to lie down in green pastures” and He does “restoreth my soul.” He leads me in paths of righteousness. Indeed, this last year I did “walk through the valley of the shadow of death” and He comforted me. His “rod”, His words in the scriptures, helped me through it all. I can testify that “His goodness and mercy have been with me all the days of my life.”

Calling out to the sheep, many heard me and looked up.  They came in all sizes and colors including black faced and white faced sheep. Some had been sheared and others had not. If I kept calling out I was afraid they would step over the little mound of earth that seemed to be the boundary to the rice field. You can see how easy it would have been for them by that little guy in the center that is standing on the mound. These mounds are used for flooding the rice paddy during the growing season.

     

     The Holy Ghost is the Comforter and  I have been comforted during this time of grieving. My grief has been light and often poignant, and never has been that crushing horrible pain that debilitates. This comes from the knowledge that I know where Bob is right now, and that one day, I will be with him again. He is my eternal companion.This life is just a moment, compared to the eternities that we will be together because of the sealing ordinances performed in the Lord's temple. Our vows were not “until death do you part” but were “for time and all eternity.” What a joy this thought brings. How grateful I am for the gift of the Holy Ghost conferred upon my head that long ago day after I was baptized. God’s plan is perfect. Christ’s atonement was the crowning event that provides this glorious promised  future for all those who will humble themselves, have faith in Christ, receive the ordinances of the gospel, live worthy, serve others and seek to do God’s will. THEN ENDURE TO THE END.